think tank

The "Pasensya Na" Syndrome

2012-01-26T18:57:00.000-08:00

Just to preface this entire rant, no one loves my home country more than I do, and yes I am a proud Filipino. I don't even "claim" I'm half Spanish. You know what I'm talking about. I love everything about the Philippines, the food the culture and the history. I would soooo love to one day finally root for its economic success. But alas, even with this undying love, I cannot overlook certain folly that prevent us from excelling in the economic arena. One aspect is our own incapability to adapt to the western world's standards of business, one that will keep us down forever. This NOT a blanket statement by any means of my countrymen. This just addresses the many who cling to an archaic way of conducting business. This is why I dread doing business with anyone in the Philippines, and even some legacy Filipino businesses in the US. Nothing personal, I just want things to actually come out the way I paid for in the time it was supposed to be delivered.

As a culture, we are intelligent, resourceful, educated and diligent but despite this we have a fatal business flaw, our inability to understand what modern society's customers expect. In the Filipino culture, patience, "pasensya" is one of the primary virtues. It is expected that as one matures, so does one's patience. In essence, patience can be seen as a product of wisdom. Wisdom and love of family is why the elderly is held in the highest esteem within the culture. The elderly are the "holders of wisdom." We don't pass our parents around as a burdens when they grow old. In fact, it is an honor for the family to be chosen to take care of an aging parent. All well and good...but I digress.

This in itself is not a hurdle to the country's economic success. The problem is when you as a culture not only EXPECT patience from yourself, but ASSUME it of others...paying customers, even ones not of Filipino decent. "Patience please," or "pasensya na" is a very common saying when conducting business in the Philippines. The expectation that the customer will be patient is so widely assumed that in many instances, the customer may not be receiving the optimal service they paid for because they will "bear with you." In modern society, you cannot assume that your client will bear with you if things don't go according to plan. In fact, it is the diametric opposite of one of capitalism's primary virtue, "the customer is always right." Unfortunately, the pendulum sometimes swings so far that they use the "pasensya na" mentality as an excuse to deliver less than stellar products or services. "The customer will always have to bear with me."

You could be on your way to pick up your wedding dress on the day of your wedding and wait 3 hours for the seamstress to get to the shop because she overslept, caught two masses at church or a myriad of other excuses only to be given no other reasoning but the phrase, "pasensya na." Even in the United States it is not unheard of to go to a Filipino restaurant, order fried chicken and hear the unfortunate phrase, "ay, naubos na," "we ran out," even if the primary motto of the restaurant itself is "the house that chicken built." How could you run out? That's what you do! Was there a chicken epidemic? If I go to any KFC in the US, even one minute before they close, I can expect that they will have chicken. They are called Kentucky FRIED CHICKEN, the option of running out is not even conceivable.

Will I be patient for your incompetence or lack of organization? Maybe, but don't expect it. To be or not be patient is my right, not yours to enforce. If I'm paying full price, I do not expect half the effort or results. If you as a business deliver less than what is expected, then assume that I will ask for compensation other than the excuse "pasensya na." Call me an ass, but I actually want what I paid for in the time I was originally told, not 3 hours after that.

To be continued....

Corporate Gift Giving Marketing

2011-05-17T07:40:00.000-07:00

Do you just buy and allocate corporate gifts to clients without tracking its effectiveness?

In many industries corporate gifts, such as sports tickets and suites, are an integral part of their company's marketing campaign. These gifts allow a company the means to attract lucrative clients, as well as open doors to meetings that would not otherwise be opened. It also creates goodwill between you and your clients in hopes that it will one day be reciprocated. In most instances, a corporate gift is welcomed even when unsolicited. Unfortunately, many companies do not track its effectiveness and impact to the bottom line, and just accept it as an expense for being in that particular line of business.

Track Your Corporate Gifts
It is imperative that when you use corporate gifts as a part of your client acquisition/retention campaign, that you track metrics just like any other aspects of marketing. At the very least, you must know your budget spend, ROI and effectiveness. Programs, such as Spotlight TMS, should be able to help you do that.

Post-Event Tracking
After the gift is received and/or the conclusion of the event, communication with your clients is paramount to gauge its impact and whether you need to set this particular event as their annual gift. You may also want make sure that this gift was appropriate to this particular client.

Keeping these aspects in mind will help better monetize your gift giving budgets instead of it being that proverbial "Bermuda's Triangle" of spending.

2009-05-28T12:56:00.001-07:00

Happy Thursday everyone!

2009-04-30T19:40:00.001-07:00

Triple Overtime!!!!

The Time I Snapped (March 9, 2004)

2009-03-17T22:43:00.000-07:00

So I was at work today, and for some reason everyone began to irk me. Whatever anyone said sounded idiotic to me. Was it just me? I was just sooo irritable. Maybe they've always performed their work at a sub-par quality, and I hadn't noticed. Some people just want to cruise through life without giving it their best, whether it's sports or their jobs. Am I supposed to just let them get away with it, when their performance directly affects mine?

The Toyota Echo
I get my rental car today since my car is in the shop, and they unveil "the echo* (echo echo echo)." Never have I been more scared for my life on the freeway, than I have been today. So I drive my egg on wheels on what could just be described as the windiest day of the year! Every gust of wind shook the car uncontrollably, making me hold on to the steering wheel for dear life. Never in my many years of owning a car or license, have I ever placed my hand in the 10 o'clock and 3 o'clock position on the steering wheel, but I did today, tightly, while murmuring a somewhat hybrid version of "Hail Mary" and "The Act of Contrition." Eventually, I see my parking lot, and what a welcome site it was! The egg survived! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ....

9:30 am

Our Company Photographer
He walks in my office..."Dude, I got a big meeting tomorrow. Do you have any samples of my work so I can show them?" Pretty simple question right? I'm sure he's asked me similar questions before. Why should today be any different? I don't know but it was. I blame male PMS! Hey women use it, why shouldn't I? So instead of letting a somewhat harmless, though ignorant question go by, I had to get on my sanctimonious soapbox..."Um...no. Why the hell would I have samples of your work? Who's responsibility is it to keep track YOUR work?" "It's your portfolio! Is your work so important that it merits stopping what I was doing?" "Ok, why don't you just print some more from the disk you are holding in your hands?" ...The heavens open up as 12 glorious angels fly down singing in unison Alleluia... It's interactions like these that make me seem like a rocket scientist in this office. Though 15 minutes after the conversation, I only had one word reverberating in my head.....duh!!!!!

That was 10:30 am.

The Old Biddies in the Lunchroom
Upon reaching the threshold of hunger, a game I like to play everyday where I wait until I am so hungry that I'm in the verge of eating my mouse pad, I trek over to the kitchen, specifically the microwave. I set the timer to 3 minutes...a relatively short amount of time...a lifetime in the lunchroom. The typical lunch bunch consisted of several middle-aged ladies, somewhat overweight yet have doctorate knowledge of dieting, diet supplements and the Jenny Craig points system. They spend the rest of their lunchtime discussing how many points each of their Lean Cuisines are worth, and why they shouldn't eat the cookies sitting right in front of them, left by one of our reps. After they finish eating, they then rush back to their computers to further research on the internet the latest fad in dieting. Newsflash! None of you have ever lost a friggin pound! Talking about dieting does not supplement actual weight loss. Here's a fad: Stop watching Survivor and get off your ass once in a while!!! It doesn't matter how little you eat, you still need to burn off the appetizer you call entrees with actual movement...move your asses!!!!

As a treat, I open up the tupperware I just finished microwaving and pull out a brownish crunchy sliver of meat, and proceed to chew...oh my goodness!!! It's sooo good! Sooo salty!...what is it? Wha what?! Could it be? It's spam!!!!! And it's worth 50 billions points per serving, and I love it!!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!...I have officially lost it....

12:00 pm

The Printer up Front
An individual in the office apparently has sent multiple print jobs to the printer, yet no prints come out. Apparently, printing these 3 pages of Mapquest were so important that it necessitated the interruption of my lunch hour!!! So I make hand gestures of shooting myself in the head, I walk over to the printer to help the young woman.

1st point: I am not the computer tech person of the company

2nd point: I was in the middle of enjoying my fried rice

Well, I guess I am the next logical step, because apparently I am a genius. So I walk over to the computer and send a test page to the printer...hmmm...odd...nothing is printing on printer 1. So being the genius I am, I walk over to printer 2 and low and behold....six copies of Mapquest sitting on the tray. Have you ever sighed in a way where it wasn't a continuous sigh, but resembled the rythmic pattern of a machine gun? The machine gun sigh or the earthquake sigh...*siiiiiiiiiiiigh*.....if I wasn't having such a great hair day, I would've ripped handful of hairs from the side of my head...

12:45 pm

On deadline
Staring at the pile of paper next to me, which seems like an eternity to finish, I pop open a can of coca-cola to send me once again into that state of euphoria I like to call "the zone." This is what I was hired to do. It's crunch time and I love it! I zoom through each project as if everyone else around me is moving in slow motion. I slowly finish each task with the efficiency and grace of a skilled artisan. I was indeed in the "zone." Everyone in the office knew that when I crack open that can, "he is not to be disturbed." As I zoom past one task after the other...a timid voice emerges from the depths of nothingness and eventually makes itself heard....*as the record skips in my head* I hear, can you print this for me? And e-mail this file? Oh...it's the useless, pasty-skinned sack of potatoes that I allow to be my boss. My mere existence makes her existence possible.

Ok, I'm in the zone, a stack of work stares me in the eyes and I have 2 hours to perform a task that would usually take a day. You, on the other hand, are doing nothing! Surfing on the internet, looking for accessories for your pet parrot. Here's how you print: File ---> print. Here's how you e-mail: File ---> send. Please give me more titanically menial tasks while on deadline, because heaven forbid you get outbid on ebay by a 13-year old kid. Please add insult to injury by allowing the company to pay your sorry-ass twice what they offer me. Oh please!!!!!

4:30 pm

I'm seeing red.....I'm seeing red!!!...Why am I seeing red?!??! Can someone check if blood is coming out of my ears?

Lessons in Bachelorhood

2009-03-17T22:35:00.000-07:00

(This was recycled from my old Myspace Blog)

This is just a sampling of what I've learned going through life as a single male, living on my own. Each of these lessons may not have sprung from my own individual experience, yet I've learned it nonetheless. If this helps even just one bachelor out there, then all was worthwhile. I know how hard it is to not get accurate information about sex, women and life from your "boys" because they're too focused on bullshitting about what they've ACTUALLY experienced.

Flashback to 1989, one of my friends just happened to swipe one of his dad's porno videos, so the rest of us guys rushed over to his house to watch it. As the guy changed positions, he was sticking his penis into different holes. As he did this, we were all trying to figure out which hole it was in. I asked one of my friends, "which hole is he in now?" My best friend replies, "he's in the putt." I replied, "what the fuck is the putt?!?!" He exclaims, "it's the hole between the pussy and the butt." 'NUFF SAID! A bunch of fucking virgins, pretending like we knew what the hell were talking about.

Living as a bachelor, I've learned that:

1. Size DOES matter

2. You're going to eventually have to learn how to cook. So buy a "wok" you can do anything in it from boiling water to frying an egg. In doing so, you only need one pan.

3. "No" doesn't mean no. It just means, you need to try harder, try a new approach, spend more money, use a breathmint, or buy a bigger diamond.

4. It's funny how far the words, "thank you" and "sorry" can get you in life.

5. A Porno is NOT a good source for sexual education.

6. You can't rub her down there THAT hard! Apparently, it hurts, unlike what the movie shows.

7. Women only have 2 usable holes down there!!! You cannot put your thing in that third one. They pee out of there, but that's it!

8. I guess it starts to hurt them after 30 minutes of doing it non stop, that's why they fake it sometimes.

9. You CAN get cooties from kissing girls! It's just called "hepatitis" and "herpes simplex" by adults.

10. It never says it in the bottle, but I guess you SHOULD NOT use a facial exfoliator on the soft skin under your eyes, but you can use it anywhere else. Apparently, it's very sensitive, and the shit will start peeling!

11. Mimicking a musical instrument with any part of your body or bodily function is not impressive to women....unless you can play the bass drum with your one drum stick...

12. Regardless of whether or not you are paying attention to them, women don't think you are LISTENING to them unless you are LOOKING at them. You can point your ears directly at them, but apparently the EYES are the part that should be facing them...even if you truly aren't even listening. Just nod your head.

13. Contrary to popular belief, there is NO right answer to the question, "do i look fat?" Live with it!

14. Ex-girlfriends are not around to MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD.

15. It's always that fat or dorky girl you made fun off in highschool who's going to turn out HOT.

16. Here's a scenario: If say you're sitting around with your girl talking about things that somewhat sound like nonsense, like her asking you if you ever thought about trimming your pubic hairs or something, PAY ATTENTION to this conversation! This is the kind of conversation that will get your NUTS shaven while you are sleeping.

17. There is NEVER a RIGHT time to bring up that you want to do a threesome with her best friend. NEVER!

18. Hardcore porn DOES NOT turn them on like it does us. Apparently, they need some sort of plot.

19. DRAMA is INESCAPABLE! The degree of drama that will occur is inversely proportional to how much you want it. If you DON'T want drama at all, then you get LOTS of it.

20. PMS can hit 30 times a month.

21. Unless you have a unibrow. Plucking your eyebrows into thin lines is gay! Look behind you real fast and you'll see your boys laughing at you. If ALL of you do it, then you look like a bunch of gay guys out on the town, so shake your thang girlfriends!

22. If you're going to be stuck in a bomb shelter, and the only one left with you is an ugly chick to repopulate the earth, don't forget to stock lots of beer. Mankind needs you.

23. ALWAYS remember a girl's name (a skill I have yet to master)!

24. You are never more attractive to women than when you are TAKEN.

25. If you JUST want to have SEX with her, be a jerk. If you want to marry her, be a gentleman. The hoochies and gold diggers want the jack-ass, and the good ones want the gentleman.

26. Standing around all night holding that drink at a club, does NOT make you look cool! The girls notice that you've been standing around the bar all night staring. Who are you fooling? It's a DANCE club, go dance!

27. Women have this inexplicable notion that the DEFAULT position of the toiler seat is DOWN. I know, i know..it doesn't make sense. It's the middle position. If anything, the default position should be either UP or CLOSED. The whole time you've been alive, not once did your bare ass ever fall into the toilet bowl. Yes, because women lack the hand-eye-butt coordination to LOOK first before they sit down, we are eternally punished to leave the seat down. In this instance, do not try to use REASON. Just HUMOR them.

28. In the short run, it's easier to lie. In the long run, it's easier to tell the truth.

Personalize Your Google Search with Search Wikis

2008-11-21T10:24:00.000-08:00

Being at the forefront of search technology means you never stop tweaking. You never wait until something is broken before you fix it. Yesterday Google launched its newest functionality, "the Search Wiki." This newest addition allows searchers to change the order of results based on their preference. For example, if you Googled "shoe store" and got several irrelevant results or feeder sites, you can move a site that actually has "substance" to the very top. It even allows you to delete search results. There is one catch. You need to be logged in via you Google account. Along with editing the order of your search results, you can also make comments on result items which anyone can see, logged in or not.

The day after launch, it has seemed to have garnered mixed reviews. I happen to believe it's an awesome addition. It's a great focus group for Google to pull from. The results would further help the search engine sift through results with actual content. Theoretically, the online collective can help the Google engine decipher sites with substance from sites artificially optimized. No doubt, that there are still many who will try to cheat the functionality, but the sheer numbers of actual consumers will more likely overpower artificial enhancements. Allowing mere mortal consumers to vote on what they think is relevant is one more step toward a truly democratic search engine.

New Social Networking Loophole/Discovery

2008-06-22T18:27:00.000-07:00

As a marketer, I'm always looking for new opportunities or new ways to utilize existing media. Social networking at this point is the new "it" thing. I recently discovered a way to utilize a functionality of social networking sites to drive more traffic to your company, as well fully utilize your product placement.

I ultimately envision one day commerce will be able to grant us instant gratification. You can be watching TV and see a great dress that Lindsay Lohan is wearing, and you'd be able to buy that exact dress instantly from the TV's interface. Anything we see or even hear on any existing media can be instantly purchased. What is that shirt George Clooney is wearing on TV? Highlight it and you can buy it instantly. The song your currently hearing on the radio can be instantly downloaded.

Social sites like Myspace.com have implemented a functionality in their photo album section that can easily be exploited. You can now tag your photos to identify individuals on that image. For example, in a photo of you and your friends, you can tag each of the individual friends so that it can link back to their individual profiles. As soon as you tag them, the individual friend will get an alert asking them if they would like to add that tagged photo in their own photo albums. The beauty of this functionality is that if they approve, not only will the photos be uploaded in their albums, but also all the other corresponding tags.

I know that this was meant for tagging humans, but what's to stop you from tagging the shirt, jeans or shoes that this individual is wearing on the photo? As long as this product has a corresponding profile on Myspace, you'd be able to link to it, thus driving traffic to that product's myspace site. Let's use a very popular member of Myspace, Tila Tequila for example. If say you got her to wear a hat that you are selling and have a photo, you can upload the photo in your site's photo album. In the photo, you can tag Tila as well as the hat, so that there's a link-back. Upon tagging Tila's pic, she will then get an alert to approve the photo to be uploaded on her own photo album. If you happen to be lucky enough for her to approve, then the photo will be in her album for her and all her millions of friends to see. But guess what? Your tag for your hat will also be included. They can all highlight the hat and know where to purchase it for themselves.

The application for this loophole is endless! In the future we can know exactly where to buy all the gear that our favorite celebrities are rocking all over the internet. All photos on every website will be equipped with a tagging functionality.

My Mom's Famous Macaroni Salad

2008-03-10T13:38:00.000-07:00

Everytime I make this people ask me for the recipe. Well here it is:

Ingredients:

- 1 chicken breast
- 2 small cans of vienna sausages
- 1 bag of macaroni pasta
- shredded cheese
- ½ large jar of mayonnaise
- 1 apple
- 3-4 small cans of cubed pineapples
- 3 celery stalks
- ½ onion
- ½ green bell pepper
- ½ red bell pepper
- salt
- pepper

Cooking Instructions:

- drain and save liquid from the pineapples with a strainer
- add the pineapple liquid to a pot of water and boil the chicken breast until tender
- in another pot, boil the pasta
- chop the boiled chicken, vienna sausages, cheese, celery, drained pineapples, onion, green and red peppers and apple into corn-sized cubes
- mix all ingredients and add ½ large jar of mayonnaise
- add salt and pepper to taste

- serve hot or cold

High School: The Big Socialization Project

2008-03-02T20:47:00.000-08:00

According to one of my psychology professors, high school was never about academic education. It is in fact, society's method of socialization. The simplistic definition of socialization is a type of training for an indivual to function properly within the collective or society. Without this socialization process, we would be ill-equipped to function within modern society. We would not understand social norms, as well as social taboos.

Jails and Schools

If we had the same sensibilities and acted like kids in our adulthood, we would be considered uncivilized, insane and even labeled as a criminal. In fact, there are many similarities between jails and schools, both designed to calm us down and instill compliance. I have no doubt that school and jail systems share similar tactics, if not implement each other’s research findings.

High school is like a mini jail system, designed with the same end-result, to punish the non-compliant and to produce “upstanding members of society.” Doesn’t that just mean that they want to produce individuals who are compliant to government and other social constructs? Both high schools and jails even share common rules and infrastructures. Both have “wardens,” open quad areas, lunch rooms, gyms and common showers.

Both class rooms and jail cells are designed to keep us in a confined area for a finite amount of time, probably a priming method to instill dependence on time. Once the bell rings, both class room and jail cell doors open to herd us to another holding area. Around the same time every day, the population is forced to exercise, no doubt to shed pent up energy that may cause an individual to incite disorder. Then we shed our clothing and shower in common areas. These mundane herding activities are repeated over and over in the span of years to properly solidify learned behavior.

According to color psychology, light green is one of the most calming colors, the typical color of most classroom walls, insane asylums and jail cells. Have you ever been present when cafeteria food was delivered? Guess what? Cafeteria food and jail food come from the same place and are of the same grade! Now, I am not insinuating a form of conspiracy theory that in fact the government puts something in the food to chemically modify behavior. I leave that to individuals more paranoid than myself. The list of similarities are endless.

It is evident that high schools value social education over academic education just by the fact that most people graduate regardless of their academic performance. I can’t believe that some of the dumb asses I knew in high school graduated. Some of these individuals were barely literate, yet they knew how to belong to something. Some even go as far as toning down their capabilities to conform to the standards of the social caste they’re in. Frankly, I don’t even remember if I ever learned anything academically in high school.

The Group Mentality

The first thing we learn in our first year of high school is the significance of group mentality, and how it shapes our position in society. All of a sudden, kids who played together and shared tents and tree houses are no longer part of the same social circle. An elementary caste system is formed that impacts our entire high school career. We either succumb to this proverbial musical chair game or experience loneliness once the music stops. EVERYTHING is dictated by this caste system, where you eat, who you hang out with, what you wear, and how you are perceived. We learn the “us against them,” that promotes herd mentality instead of individualism. As much as we all wanted to be “individuals” or “unique,” we wanted to be unique together. We form a group of “uniques,” and begin to segregate ourselves from the other groups. How can you be truly unique if you belong to a group of people who think, act and look just like you?

This is the beginning of “political correctness”, “majority rules”, and our desire to belong. Your adulthood is basically mirroring lessons of social constructs taught to you by your high school experiences. You think you’re making an individual choice, but years of group mentality priming says otherwise. Remember the whole Clarence Thomas sexual harrassment fiasco? After a newscaster pronounced sexual harassment as (har • ass • ment), rather than what most people originally pronounced as (ha • rass • ment), everyone started saying it that way.

In a UN vote where France did not support the United States’ desire to deploy troops to Iraq, all of a sudden it was politically correct for Americans to make fun of the French. The idiocy went as far as the public wanting to change the term French fries to “Freedom fries.” Was that a conscious decision you made or was it in fact what propaganda spin doctors wanted you to think?

Group Mentality Keeps Order

If you subscribe to the Nietzchian notion that a few are meant to lead and the rest are meant to follow, then one can argue that these social constructs are necessary. Without it, western civilization would plummet. Based on the premise that most people are followers, rules needed to be created to guide the them. A method of teaching the followers how to follow also needed to be weaved into the societal construct in a seamless manner. This is where I believe the theory of the high school education system plays its part.

TIME is more important than MONEY

2008-02-25T14:39:00.001-08:00

2 people very close to me just passed away this month. The amazing thing is that both are the antithesis of each other.

My uncle Larry lived to work. He was one of the most selfless men I knew. He had never held just one job. He worked multiple shifts at different jobs to provide for his family, and to one day reap the benefits. It's ironic that in his efforts to provide his family of the luxuries he believed they deserved, he denied them of the one most important luxury; TIME with their father and husband. He never got around to enjoy what he worked so hard to provide. Upon approaching his retirement age, he slowly developed a mysterious, debilitating brain disease that rendered him immobile. He died thereafter, never able to enjoy the fruits of his labor.

Kay was the diametric opposite. She lived her life "in the now." This was a woman who had lived at least 3 lifetimes. She spent the money before she even made it. She enjoyed life, but never thought about the future. She didn't care because she knew she was not taking anything with her. The important thing was that she was able to enjoy the fruits of her labors as she reaped them. Many may argue that she was irresponsible, but are those people not aware of how finite and short life is?

Money seems to be the motivation that drives society and western civilization. Many people are willing to work many hours to obtain the most amount of money possible. Not as many people though are willing to fork over money to obtain more hours. Humanity seems to hold the value of MONEY higher than the value of TIME. I do not understand this mentality. Money lost can always be regained. You can work more hours, get a second job, or find other sources of income. Time lost can never be regained.

We should be striving to utilize more of our time, not money. According to Robert Kiyosaki in Rich Dad, Poor Dad, rather than focusing on being rich (acquisition of time), we should be striving to be wealthy (acquisition of time). Most people have TIME and MONEY at an inverse correlation. The working class would have to sacrifice leisure time to obtain the buying power to purchase more things or services.

The deaths of those 2 individuals have taught me a very valuable lesson. TIME is the most valuable resource of all, and I don't want to run out of it before I come to a realization that I can never get it back. I no longer hesitate in embracing my friends and family, and telling them I love them, for that is time well spent. I am now on a journey to learn how to spend TIME wisely rather than MONEY.

My Gold Digger Test

2008-02-24T22:56:00.000-08:00

As a single male, I understand that the women I date play a certain degree of games or administer some type of "test" to determine whether or not she deems me worthy of the next date or as a potential mate. It used to perplex me because I always thought that dating would be immensely more enjoyable if people just acted themselves. I always believed that I did.

I do understand though the motivation of such tests, having experienced the weeding out system we call dating. Bad experiences definitely is a source of these defense mechanisms.

I too, after thinking about it, realized that I started developing a set of heuristics after having gone through numerous dates, a test I call "the reach." I unknowingly devised criteria to help me determine whether the current person I'm dining with at a restaurant is a gold digger. I'm sure most men innately know this, but I've never really heard it analyzed.

As an old-school male, it is a given to me that I will ultimately pay for dinner, regardless of who asked who out. Whether or not the woman is a liberated person, I'm sure that it is still a nice gesture for someone to pay for your meal. I have no problem with this. For the most part, I oblige as long as I know that the girl is not out for a free meal. How do I know? "The reach."

Most decent women know that even though they don't expect to pay for the meal, it is a pleasant gesture for them to "fake offer" to pay at least half. Most guys have seen this move. It's the same move time and time again. As soon as the check comes, the woman reaches for her purse "in slow motion" so that I get to my wallet before she even gets to the zipper of her purse. After seeing "the reach" I know that she's not a gold digger. I acknowledge that she doesn't really intend to pay for it, but I appreciate the effort. It's my part to then to continue the song and dance and to say, "no, I got this" or "don't be silly! I'm paying." Hell, she probably doesn't even have any money in that thing. Plus, her motion toward her purse is soooo slow, that she never really intended to pay. I mean c'mon. If she really intended to pay, she'd be in that purse sooo fast. It's right next to you! I have to get up to pull my wallet out. If that was a piece of chocolate in that purse she would've had it unwrapped and taken a bite before I even got the chance to blink.

I went out with this girl after she had asked me out. This was one of my longer dates. We went to lunch, did some shopping, had drinks, went to dinner, then to a movie, then coffee after the movie, all in the span of 8 hours. Not once in any of those meals did she even give me the courtesy of "the reach", nor did she allow me the opportunity to say, "oh I got this babe."

In neon lights flashed, "gold digger!" She couldn't even "fake offer" to pay for tip, or the 3 dollar valet parking. God forbid I call her bluff and she's out 3 bucks! Geez, put a quarter in the meter for me, it's something! Tsk tsk tsk....some people...

In this instance, my little test came in handy...

Atomic Theory

2008-02-24T17:05:00.000-08:00

This is a theory that i have been thinking about since junior high school.

We've all seen drawings or renderings of what an atom looks like. There's usually a central sphere, the nucleus, and smaller spheres revolving around it, namely protons and electrons. Looking at those drawings, something always looked familiar to me, like I've seen this schematic before.

Imagine this microverse expanded into a macroverse. Doesn't the atom look like an exact replica of a planet, where the nucleus is a planet, and the charged particles revolving around it being its moons? What the hell is the relevance of this?

Well, if we know that a planet like earth is inhabited with organisms, like human beings, isn't it rational to believe that a smaller version of planet may also be inhabited? Since all matter is comprised of atoms, wouldn't it be conceivable that our bodies are in fact universes? And in this universe, there are planets, which may or may not contain sentient beings...maybe even tiny little humans.

Maybe those theories of inner well-being, chi, miticlorians, etc. may actually be scientifically valid. Kinda like, if we make those little people happy inside those planets, maybe they'll take better care of the planet and thus, taking better care of us.

Now let's blow that up into a macroverse. What if our planet is just one atom that makes up the a gigantic organism? In fact, someone might be looking at our planet right now through a microscope and saying, "look at this atom!" Wouldn't that make you truly feel infinitesimal?