My Gold Digger Test

As a single male, I understand that the women I date play a certain degree of games or administer some type of "test" to determine whether or not she deems me worthy of the next date or as a potential mate. It used to perplex me because I always thought that dating would be immensely more enjoyable if people just acted themselves. I always believed that I did.

I do understand though the motivation of such tests, having experienced the weeding out system we call dating. Bad experiences definitely is a source of these defense mechanisms.

I too, after thinking about it, realized that I started developing a set of heuristics after having gone through numerous dates, a test I call "the reach." I unknowingly devised criteria to help me determine whether the current person I'm dining with at a restaurant is a gold digger. I'm sure most men innately know this, but I've never really heard it analyzed.

As an old-school male, it is a given to me that I will ultimately pay for dinner, regardless of who asked who out. Whether or not the woman is a liberated person, I'm sure that it is still a nice gesture for someone to pay for your meal. I have no problem with this. For the most part, I oblige as long as I know that the girl is not out for a free meal. How do I know? "The reach."

Most decent women know that even though they don't expect to pay for the meal, it is a pleasant gesture for them to "fake offer" to pay at least half. Most guys have seen this move. It's the same move time and time again. As soon as the check comes, the woman reaches for her purse "in slow motion" so that I get to my wallet before she even gets to the zipper of her purse. After seeing "the reach" I know that she's not a gold digger. I acknowledge that she doesn't really intend to pay for it, but I appreciate the effort. It's my part to then to continue the song and dance and to say, "no, I got this" or "don't be silly! I'm paying." Hell, she probably doesn't even have any money in that thing. Plus, her motion toward her purse is soooo slow, that she never really intended to pay. I mean c'mon. If she really intended to pay, she'd be in that purse sooo fast. It's right next to you! I have to get up to pull my wallet out. If that was a piece of chocolate in that purse she would've had it unwrapped and taken a bite before I even got the chance to blink.

I went out with this girl after she had asked me out. This was one of my longer dates. We went to lunch, did some shopping, had drinks, went to dinner, then to a movie, then coffee after the movie, all in the span of 8 hours. Not once in any of those meals did she even give me the courtesy of "the reach", nor did she allow me the opportunity to say, "oh I got this babe."

In neon lights flashed, "gold digger!" She couldn't even "fake offer" to pay for tip, or the 3 dollar valet parking. God forbid I call her bluff and she's out 3 bucks! Geez, put a quarter in the meter for me, it's something! Tsk tsk tsk....some people...

In this instance, my little test came in handy...